The Number of Nights Before Christmas that’Twas: 1

by B. Bee Sharper

Editor’s Note:  Pure Water Gazette numerical wizard Bea Sharper writes only in the Harper’ s Index number format.  This makes fiction difficult, but you’ll see that she carries it off well in the piece below.  — Hardly Waite.

Number of nights before Christmas that ’twas: 1

Number of creatures, including mice, that were stirring: 0.

Stockings that were hung by the chimney with care: 16

Approximate number of visions of sugar plums dancing in Timmy’s head: 43.

Time when Timmy settled down for his long winter’s nap: 10:30.

Hardness level of the glass of water that Timmy drank before settling down for his long winter’s nap: 196 mg/L (11.5 grains per gallon).

Number of clatters that arose on the lawn: 1.

Total number of miniature sleighs seen by Timmy when he tore open the shutters and threw up the sash: 1.

Number of tiny reindeer that were pulling the sleigh: 8.

Exact number of little old lively and quick sleigh drivers seen by Timmy: 1

Number of little round bellies the lively and quick sleigh driver with a nose like a cherry had: 1.

Total number of toys he had in his bundle when he came down Timmy’s chimney: 176.

Number of stairs Timmy quietly crept down in order to watch Jolly Old St. Nick go about his work: 14.

Number of times you’ll have to click on this link to find out what happened next: 1.